- Try out all the top 10 scariest thrill rides on the planet.
- Go to the Seoul Tower with a lock, write my name and whoever's and throw away the key.
- Get lost in a city.
- Get kidnapped and taken around Jakarta for one day, seeing every corner of it.
- Vegas when I'm legal to do anything I want.
- Survive 2012.
- Bungee jumping.
- Go on a hot air balloon.
- Stay at the Poseidon Under Sea Resorts.
- Go inside pyramids.
- Go around the world in 80 days.
- Go to unknown places.
- Mr. Right.
A guy who doesn’t take me to romantic dinners, but takes me around the city and end up eating in a burger restaurant. Capable of making me laugh my ass off, but can be serious in the right situation. Gives me as much trust as I give him. Someone who texts me everyday, but gives me space when I need it. Although I love it when he cares, he should be someone who doesn’t try to change who I am, cause he knows that’s who he fell for in the first place. Someone to make fun of, someone to throw food at, someone who would try to annoy me so much, but whispers I love you when he stops. He’d let me play on his guitar and mess up everytime he tries to teach me. He’d take me out on a field and lay down under the stars, as we start bullshitting for hours about whatever’s on our mind. Someone who laughs at the dumbest things I say and makes me embarrassed. Someone who’s not afraid to throw come backs at me whenever we’re messing around. He’d carry me when I’m drunk and doesn’t complain whenever I just want to have fun. Who would play tag with me, catches me and spins me around, but drops me and lets me fall. Though he kisses me forehead and says “sorry”. He would get jealous by other guys, but understands that I don’t love anyone else but him. Someone who would have movie marathons and popcorns with me, and take turns on choosing a movie as he enjoys it as much as I do. He’d be there when I’m sick, he’d be there when I’m in tears, he’d be there when I’m just bored and need someone to entertain me with his goofy-ness. Someone who looks everything on the bright side and not just be paranoid at everything. Someone with a sick taste in music, someone who’d rather choose to give his own mixed CDs than roses. Someone cheesy in a funny and different way. When everything ends, he’d be glad he made me that happy and knows what’s best for both of us.
“he’s” too much to ask for.
Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing or what I’m asking for. I don’t know what’s going to happen in line for me, nor do I want to know. It’s strange actually, I’m always curious.
Exams are coming up in a week’s time. Wish me luck. I can’t wait to get out of this hellhole. One more year till I can finally start a new life, or at least that’s what I’d like to call it. I love drama, but right now it’s too much for me.
Have you seen movies, where the main character always has their favourite spot to think about things? Or to get away from reality and at least have a chance to fantasize about anything they have in mind? As bizarre as it is, no one would care. No one would tell you to stop daydreaming. You’re in your own little world, nothing matters. Cliché? I know. But it sucks that I can’t find a place like that.
I feel so pressured. Not by a particular someone, but a few. Especially by the two people that I’m supposed to look up to. It seems like everything I do is wrong, home doesn't really seem so sweet after all. I hate feeling this way, it makes it seem like I’m emo or some shit. I loved how things were going at the start of this year, I even thought this could turn out to be a kick ass year. But come to think of it, I’m wrong. I always am. But then again, things can change in a snap of a finger.
There’s always one question that comes up to my mind. Why does it seem like I have everything I ask for, but I’m still not happy? Maybe I’m not the only one, but I wish I wasn’t one of them.
Let’s be honest again shall we?
I smile because it fools people.
Being fifteen feels the same like any other age. The only difference? Is just growing another wrinkle each day and getting closer to being old and grumpy.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it.
"Without your love, I would die."
She would always trust me when I was small, and it felt good. I felt like the all time goody-two-shoe. Pathetic I know, but hey honestly I sort of miss being one. I have totally forgotten how it all started, but I became more out of control until it reached to a point where my mom said I've lost it. It seems like just a second ago she would think that I could never lie to her, but now there's no going back to those days.
Yeah, it hurts hearing those words straight from your own mother. But I don't blame her, I blame myself. I admit, I have been doing the dumbest things in just a matter of three years. And now come to think of it, I think it hurts even more to be her. After all those years she's trusted me with, I lost it in a second just cause I wanted to fit in. As much as I want to, I can't stop now. Its gotten me a little bit carried away.
I hate her, most of the time. Everytime I try to earn that trust back, it seems like she won't let me. Now all that's left is just arguments and non-stop fights. In the end we say sorry, but it goes back to the beginning and the same thing repeats itself. The hardest part? Is seeng her cry and hear her telling me how much I've hurt her.
I just wish I could take it all back, everything I've done to her. She doesn't deserve it, I know. She deserves so much better. I get it now, why she's been treating me like sh*t. To make me realize how hard it is to earn someone's trust back, especially someone you'd sacrifice yourself for. Which I know she would do.
I'm sorry mom, I love you.
It's as simple as that. So why should you try to hide it when everyone knows? See, a small lie can end up turning into a big one. Once you're caught in it, there's no going back. But hey, I admit. I do lie sometimes, who doesn't? It just depends on what situation you use the term 'lie' in. So you wouldn't get caught by your parents? Normal. So you would get away with forgetting to do your homework? Pfft no questions about that. So you can play two people at once, or even more? Then wow, you're fucked.
I don't blame you for anything. Just the fact that you're wasting someone's time, when I'm sure it can be given to someone else who really deserves it. Those words you say can really put a charm on someone, more like a spell actually.
'She/he's rich' or 'She/he's hot' or 'Wow everyone will be jealous'. Does that sound familiar? To me, it really does. Trust me, when you say something like that in a relationship with someone then you should take a look at what 'relationships' mean in the dictionary. Not saying that you have no idea what love is, cause hey even I don't. But what I'm saying is, everything shouldn't always be about what's on the outside. It's the inside that counts way more.
If you know someone who's the opposite of that, then you're lucky. If you belong to someone who's the opposite of that, then you're really lucky. But if you know for sure you're the opposite of that, then you're by far the luckiest and I envy you, cause even I dont know for sure myself. So I'll let you judge me, just this once.
Lovers? Keep loving.
So it's been more than two months now since I found out about everything. As much as it seems like it hasn't been hard for me for those who doesn't read my blog and to 'him', to be honest? It has been. Especially the fact that he still won't stop going on about it, which makes everything even harder than it has been. One thing you should know, if you know you're wrong then don't go around pretending that you have nothing to do with it and start blaming other people for your own actions. Don't ever ask for sympathy, incase you haven't realized no one would care. I know this is harsh, but if you're one of those people then you should learn to grow up. As hard as you try to win someone back, that's not the way to do it.
But I have realized one thing, or two.
One? That none of the above is worth worrying. Maybe I have been wasting those two months thinking about it, but I'm glad I have friends who's been there for me. It's over, and I know for sure he's wrong. Then why should I be all depressed about it right? Yes I know I'm a hypocrite, cause I did show all my emotions in my previous posts. But I promised myself not to delete them, just so that I could take a look back at those days. I did delete one post though, there was a reason for it.
Two? That there could be someone way better, by miles. He's that one person that could really make you feel like you're the luckiest girl living. But if he doesn't feel the same way, then I'm lucky enough to know someone like him. I shouldn't be falling for someone this fast, but in this case I guess I'm a loser at that game.
It's funny how a lot of things can really change or happen in just two days, but I'm glad it did.
Oh by the way, NADDY'S HERE! She said she wanted to 'surprise' us, well she did. I thought I was dreaming yesterday when she suddenly appeared in school, I swear I tried pinching myself a few times ha ha. But too bad she's leaving this Friday, I'm gonna miss her :(