A guy who doesn’t take me to romantic dinners, but takes me around the city and end up eating in a burger restaurant. Capable of making me laugh my ass off, but can be serious in the right situation. Gives me as much trust as I give him. Someone who texts me everyday, but gives me space when I need it. Although I love it when he cares, he should be someone who doesn’t try to change who I am, cause he knows that’s who he fell for in the first place. Someone to make fun of, someone to throw food at, someone who would try to annoy me so much, but whispers I love you when he stops. He’d let me play on his guitar and mess up everytime he tries to teach me. He’d take me out on a field and lay down under the stars, as we start bullshitting for hours about whatever’s on our mind. Someone who laughs at the dumbest things I say and makes me embarrassed. Someone who’s not afraid to throw come backs at me whenever we’re messing around. He’d carry me when I’m drunk and doesn’t complain whenever I just want to have fun. Who would play tag with me, catches me and spins me around, but drops me and lets me fall. Though he kisses me forehead and says “sorry”. He would get jealous by other guys, but understands that I don’t love anyone else but him. Someone who would have movie marathons and popcorns with me, and take turns on choosing a movie as he enjoys it as much as I do. He’d be there when I’m sick, he’d be there when I’m in tears, he’d be there when I’m just bored and need someone to entertain me with his goofy-ness. Someone who looks everything on the bright side and not just be paranoid at everything. Someone with a sick taste in music, someone who’d rather choose to give his own mixed CDs than roses. Someone cheesy in a funny and different way. When everything ends, he’d be glad he made me that happy and knows what’s best for both of us.
“he’s” too much to ask for.
Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing or what I’m asking for. I don’t know what’s going to happen in line for me, nor do I want to know. It’s strange actually, I’m always curious.
Exams are coming up in a week’s time. Wish me luck. I can’t wait to get out of this hellhole. One more year till I can finally start a new life, or at least that’s what I’d like to call it. I love drama, but right now it’s too much for me.
Have you seen movies, where the main character always has their favourite spot to think about things? Or to get away from reality and at least have a chance to fantasize about anything they have in mind? As bizarre as it is, no one would care. No one would tell you to stop daydreaming. You’re in your own little world, nothing matters. Cliché? I know. But it sucks that I can’t find a place like that.
I feel so pressured. Not by a particular someone, but a few. Especially by the two people that I’m supposed to look up to. It seems like everything I do is wrong, home doesn't really seem so sweet after all. I hate feeling this way, it makes it seem like I’m emo or some shit. I loved how things were going at the start of this year, I even thought this could turn out to be a kick ass year. But come to think of it, I’m wrong. I always am. But then again, things can change in a snap of a finger.
There’s always one question that comes up to my mind. Why does it seem like I have everything I ask for, but I’m still not happy? Maybe I’m not the only one, but I wish I wasn’t one of them.
Let’s be honest again shall we?
I smile because it fools people.
